Letting go.

“If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.”

Moments.

You ever have those days where you feel like all those life-changing moments have just passed you by? Like you've missed all your chances and you just fucked up? Well, that pretty much summed up everything I'm feeling.
Lately, I'm feeling empty. Everything is a reminder of what I use to be... I used to be satisfied knowing that I was doing well in class, but not anymore. I need more than this, I mean I'm passing all my classes... but it is not as fulfilling as what it use to be.
So, I've been waiting and waiting. For what? Absolutely nothing, I have done nothing about my situation... What am I doing? I've applied to a lot of places, but nothing... What am I doing wrong?
Fuck me & my life. I would kill myself if I lost the only thing that kept me sane...

Love,
the fucked up soul.

Question.

Perhaps I wasn’t meant for this time. Perhaps, I wasn’t meant for you… But if I wasn’t, why does this hurt so much?

I don't know who understands what's going on in my head right now, but I'm sure that there has to be someone who understands me. I can't go on like this.

Lost.

I don't know what to say or think anymore.
Nothing I can do or say would resurrect us...

I don't deserve you...

Sorry everyone...
It's just not going to be the same.

Forget.

For a short amount of time, an old friend came back into my life.
Now, I just want to forget she was even here. Fuck you, you used me.

Fuck me.

Fuck me, why can't I ever sleep? Fucking restless...
I'm not tired, but everyone else around me are all content in their slumber..

Upset.

I fail at life.
"/quit life"

A year.

It's been a year.
It doesn't feel like you're gone. I still can't believe it... Standing in front of your grave I could remember everything like it was yesterday. I woke up this morning and I recollected what had happened last year. I cried. I couldn't believe it, I still can't...
You told me I was smart. You had faith in me when no one else did... You took care of me when everyone had left me... I feel horrible that I didn't take time to think about you when you were still here... Now all I wish that I could re-do everything and take the time to listen to all your stories that I ignored...
I miss you Grandma. You would be 90 this year... I'm sorry that I didn't visit you in the senior center.. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you how much I appreciate you or how much I love you... I never did realize how much you helped me until now... I love you Grandma.. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before you left us... I wish I could hold your hand again like how you held mine when I was sick in bed...

RIP Thi Tuc Nguyen
1918 to August 4th 2007.
I'll be the person you believe I would become.

Strapped for cash.

For me to survive this summer, I need to tap into my emergency stash...
No, that's not good. I'm suffering... I fucked myself over by helping you. I never felt so deprived of cash in my life...

I've been alright. I think. I don't know what I want, I think I'm going to postpone everything... I don't know. I hate sleepless nights.. I think far too much... What do I want? I don't know... I want to be happy again, I mean.. I'm happy, but I want to be content with all aspects of my life...

I used to be really happy. I used to be with someone who gave me everything... But it's gone now, and all I feel is emptiness.